I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
