You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
