just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
