when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
