I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
