uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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