Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
