He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
