idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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