she smelled like a LAN party
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
