He kissed a someone with a penis
Did you just see the Batmobile???
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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