I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
