So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
