You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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