I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
