I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
