We should be called the Road Head Warriors
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
