How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So. Much. Porn.
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