i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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