If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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