I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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