I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
