P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
