i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize