PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He shit in the fireplace
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
