yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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