I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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