WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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