then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
