just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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