I hate your face
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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