Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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