dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
