VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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