btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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