i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize