I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
