ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize