i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
