It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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