They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
