Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
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Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
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There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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