why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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