You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
