I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
