Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
