We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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