im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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