Just fell off a train. Bad.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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