spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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