who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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