I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
