So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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