I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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