I got chris browned last night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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