please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
