I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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