I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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